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It was early spring and so time to give the lawn its first cut of the season. As a typical suburban Englishman in his fifties I look forward to these simple pleasures. Maybe I\u2019m over romanticising it but I like to think that when William Blake wrote about this \u2018green and pleasant land\u2019 he was inspired not only by the undulating landscapes of the English countryside but also by the much loved institution of the English garden. Partly due to the British climate and our long growing season our gardens are the envy of the world and one of the few things we Brits can still be proud of. Perhaps I will never win any prizes for my humble contribution to this age old tradition but nevertheless I still feel part of something that is so intrinsic to our national identity.<\/p>\n
It would be the first time that I stepped inside my garden shed for months and I was almost falling over myself to reach the end of the path. I think of the shed as the heart and soul of the garden itself. It\u2019s my Aladdin’s cave where I keep everything I need to tend the garden and nurture all that grows in it from petunias to passion flowers. So it was with great joy and excitement that I undid the padlock to the shed door. But sadly as I opened the door a strange sensation struck me almost immediately and my heart sank. My joy almost instantly turned to pain.<\/p>\n
My garden shed was institutionally racist.<\/p>\n
The labelling on my propagators said it all. Naturally, the Queen Victoria Lobelia was there. Next to it was the Queen Mum Agapanthus and the Sweet Williams so named after the Duke of Cumberland, William Augustus. But where were the African Lilies, the Asiatic Dayflower or even the Arabian Jasmine? Surely it was possible to grow some more exotic plants in my garden.<\/p>\n
That wasn\u2019t the worst of it though. My garden tools were so old that many of them still had the \u2018Made in Sheffield\u2019 mark printed on them. Only now did it occur to me that the British iron industries boomed on the back of slavery.<\/p>\n
And of course I\u2019d convinced myself that I painted the shed brilliant white to make the colours of my chrysanthemums stand out but realistically there must have been some level of unconscious bias at play. I could have painted it a lovely dark oak, like Mr. Patel\u2019s next door…or even a shocking pink, like Mr. Batting on the other side.<\/p>\n
Clearly my shed and garden were not inclusive environments and were being perceived as white only spaces. For all those years I had paid scant regard to the structures and processes that had created the underrepresentation of ethnic minorities in my shed and indeed in the garden itself. Of course, some might argue that an Englishman\u2019s shed is his own private affair and no-one else has any business there, regardless of skin colour. But this is really no excuse. Even if strangers technically have no right to visit my shed they still have the right to not feel excluded from it on racial grounds.<\/p>\n
I knew what I had to do but I couldn\u2019t do it alone; I needed the help of an expert. I went back indoors and logged onto the website of my local paper to insert an ad in the jobs section. The ad cost me \u00a3300 but it was money well spent. I thought very carefully about the wording:<\/p>\n
\u201cAcademic wanted for fixed term, freelance contract to produce an equality impact assessment for garden shed in Essex. High level of education needed on issues surrounding British colonialism, institutional racism and hate studies, particularly with regards to garden sheds. Expertise in the lived realities of ethnic minorities required. Knowledge of gardening desirable but not essential. Salary – \u00a31,000 for 3 month contract.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was a lot of money but I wanted the best.<\/p>\n
I had to wait a week for the ad to go live but after that I was pleasantly surprised by the positive response. Another five days and I had fifty CVs and covering letters to sift through. Short listing was easy, as most of the applicants had very English sounding names and could be immediately rejected. I was left with two: A Mrs. Adebowale and a Mr. Pushpakumara. I Googled these names and discovered that one was African and the other was Sri Lankan \u2013 an excellent cross section!<\/p>\n
It was the day of the interview. My first applicant Mrs. Adebowale was scheduled for two o\u2019clock and I eagerly recited my interview questions as I waited for her. At three o\u2019clock the possibility that she might not show began to sink in. It\u2019s always possible she had a better offer I suppose. Never mind, Mr. Pushpakumara\u2019s CV was also very impressive and I was optimistic that we would hit it off.<\/p>\n
I was taken aback as I opened the door to Mr. Pushpakumara, as he did not look Sri Lankan at all. His skin was as white as mine but more leathery in appearance and he had long greasy hair combed back behind his ears. He had a hoop earring in one ear and as he grinned at me he revealed two gold front teeth. He put me in mind of one of those gentlemen who swing the waltzer cars round at the fairground. I thought about asking him to put his cigarette out before entering my house but decided that this might seem a little uninclusive.<\/p>\n
I offered him a seat at my dining room table to conduct the interview.<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you like a tea or coffee?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNever mind all that, mate. Let\u2019s \u2019ave a look at yer shed. That\u2019s what you want sorted aht innit?\u201d said Mr. Pushpakumara, rather abruptly.<\/p>\n
I found his manner somewhat brash but at the same time I was impressed with his confidence and he did seem to have a genuine interest in sheds.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust leave it wiv me, mate. I\u2019ve seen dozens before like this one,\u201d said Mr. Pushpakumara, assessing the contents of my shed.<\/p>\n
I did have one or two doubts about Mr. Pushpakumara\u2019s academic credentials. He just didn\u2019t strike me as a Cambridge graduate but it is very difficult to tell these days. In any case he was really my only hope now and he did seem very proactive, so I decided to offer him the job. He insisted on being paid cash a month in advance, which he said was standard practice with this sort of work. I gave him a set of keys to the back gate and the shed so he could come and go freely to do his work.<\/p>\n
The following morning I went to the shed to look for my secateurs. To my surprise the shed was completely empty. Mr. Pushpakumara had done a very thorough job indeed. He had obviously decided a completely fresh start was needed to create a more inclusive environment in my shed. I called him on the number he left to see what he had planned for the next stage of the project but he didn\u2019t pick up, so I left a message. I am very much looking forward to hearing back from him.<\/p>\n
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It was early spring and so time to give the lawn its first cut of the season. As a typical suburban Englishman in his fifties I look forward to these simple pleasures. Maybe I\u2019m over romanticising it but I like to think that when William Blake wrote about this \u2018green and pleasant land\u2019 he was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-7"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=142"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":145,"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions\/145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsubnormal.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}